Will I ever get a boyfriend in China? I am one of only about five white students studying medicine in Chine for the next six years. I feel I may not be seen as attractive at all.
Chuan Li, lived in China
It's going to be difficult, but possible.
You need to learn how to deal with the alienation. It's normal that Chinese people are not used to dealing with foreigners. As you have observed yourself, there are only a handful of them around. So it will take them a little while to put down their curiosity and start treating you like a normal person. Be nice and tolerate their initially awkward behaviors and you will eventually break the barrier.
Whether you are attractive or not is not the problem. Studying in the U.S., my friends and I are quite used to foreigners, but most of us still prefer Chinese or, at the very least, Asian girls. We do find people of other races physically attractive, but the culture barrier makes it hard for us to emotionally bond with them. We have different sense of humor; we value different things; we prefer different foods, and most importantly, we treat our loved ones differently. Speaking for men, some Chinese gentlemen show their affection by taking care of every daily needs of their lover, but some western women find it strange; some are a bit “traditional” and dominating, but western women are usually more independent. If you are not willing to make compromises (personally I think you shouldn't, but who am I to judge), then it WILL take you quite a while to find someone who clicks with you.
Certain people are more open to foreigners than others. If you are studying medicine, then stereotypically it's less likely for you to find a foreigner-friendly boyfriend among your more traditional peers. Go out of your circle and look for people that are more used to foreigners, such as those had been studying aboard or those who travel a lot. You tend to find more open minded friends through them and build your circle from there.
Beau Deseo, Broken heart? That ain't nothing new.
The funny thing is it depends on where you are. I can actually speak a decent portion of Mandarin, and the funniest thing is they really do notice you and talk about you like everyone else.
At one point, I walked past 3 Chinese women and to my sorrow they said “Wow he is so muscular and cute.. but he is too dark.” It all depends on preference. Most Asian cultures are born with a shade of brown. Yet they spend so much money, time, and effort to become white.
If you do not already speak Mandarin or Cantonese (I say Cantonese because I am not sure which side of China you are in) I would suggest learning to do so. Instantly many men will be attracted to you if you can speak the same language as them. Language is a huge barrier, especially for people who are mostly introverted.
For me, they are probably admiring you, if they stare longer than most people would, chances are they are either admiring you, or wondering why you are in China haha!
If you wanted a boyfriend in China I personally think you would be happy. (You would need to conform to their culture and language though).
Hanyi Lu, One of 1.3 billion.
The answe is yes. But you will have to put in some work.
First of all, you will have to overcome the language barrier. Surely Chinese college students know English, but I doubt most students would be able to keep a conversation alive with a native English speaker for longer than 20s. So in order to enter the dating department in China, learning Chinese and becoming fluent at it in most cases is almost necessary.
Second, dating culture is just completely different in China. Here guys are not required to make the first move. And since you are white, specially if you are like blonde hair and blue eyes, it would definitely be intimidating to most Chinese guy who have only seen other races on TV. Your distinct physical feature doesn't necessarily make you unattractive in China, as a matter of fact, it would become a plus to many guys because you look very exotic. But to most Chinese, they would definitely think twice before making a move on a white girl. So my advice is to stop being passive and make the first move if you like the guy. In China no one would judge the girl if she makes the first move.
Good luck dating in China.
Louise Berman, a woman
Wow, one in 5 out of 40,000 students! Now that is a minority.
I can only see it from their point of view. Maybe they’re afraid you’re eventually going to leave the country so why start a relationship? Maybe they have never interacted with a European before, so they don’t know how to approach you? Maybe they think you are not attracted to them, so they don’t approach you.
Most of the scenarios I can think of have to do with them and not you.
Best to not think about it and go about your life. I know that’s hard. How to want something by not wanting something…that is a complex conundrum.
译文来源：三泰虎 http://www.santaihu.com/48692.html 译者：Joyceliu
Ziyu, lives in China
Yes,of course you will!
As far as I'm concerned, girls from Europe are very welcomed by Chinese. But just because you come from Europe, and it is difficult for them to have the courage to talk with you. Maybe they afraid that you had a boyfriend or you didn't want to talk with them.
So, it is important for you be friendlier. You can say hello to the students to show that it's easy to be friend with you.
Next, it's also essential to learn to speak some Chinese words at least. Just some words in common use. It will help a lot.
Also, you can take part in more activities with Chinese friends. Many Chinese students may really want to make friends with you, but there's few opportunity for them. So, play with them together, and give them a chance to know you!
Hope you will find your right one!:
You will be treated as a curiosity, for a time. After that, provided you were polite and nice, the people there will start treating you more normally, sometimes almost as if you grew up in China! Provided youe Mandarin is especially good of course!
Also some very old traditions mean that Chinese people generally prefer lighter skinned partners, so provided your white you should have an easier time than you expect. A note of warning though, this same tradition can also lead to some weird behavior. I’ve heard accounts where Chinese people get a white partner specifically just for social status and boasting, so make sure whoever you find is someone who is with you for who you are, not what your skin colour is
Read up on the typical Chinese response to whites before you make any conclusions. Secondly, don’t worry about it. Worrying doesn’t make you more attractive, but less so. Be the person you are, and above all, be in your heart when you relate to men. You will be far more sensitive to who they are, their values, etc. You don’t want a boyfriend who doesn’t appreciate your various interests, your strengths, your personality, your appearance, your joy, your personal expression, and in the case of more mature relationships, your frailties as a human being. Enjoy your life there. That is the best, and maybe only way for that person to run into you and vice-versa. Do well in school too. Excel, without breaking your health or distorting your personality.
Yu-Hsing Chen, Well versed on history of China, and follows its politics a bit
Well assuming 99.9% of the other 39,999 students are Chinese locals, the odds aren’t great.
It’s not the problem of attractiveness, it’s the general perception that Asian men just don’t date White women , it’s not very common even in the USA, let alone in China.
There’s a long list of reasons why and most of it involve a lot of unfortunate stereotypes.
But more or less it depends on the girl’s own intention and willingness as well, though if your hoping the guys ask first you might be waiting awhile
Si Yuanyuan, college student
You can join some student groups to make some friends who share same interests. Such as oral English association,basketball association,etc.There are a lot of student groups in a campus.
If you think someone is attractive,just go and ask for his social media account. It's totally OK in a Campus.But don’t do it too frequently.
Hope you enjoy your life in China.
By the way,could you tell me which university are you in?
Well I am not all that knowledgeable about China
However, I do know a thing or two about people and that tastes in partners tend to be very a individual thing that differs greatly from person to person. So yes, odds are in your favor to find someone. But you will have to learn the language and you will need to mingle. To remain the odd one out is usually a bad strategy.
Raj, prefers to be in secret solace environment
you sound so desperate.. answer this why do you need to have a boy friend.. so that he can be your body guard ??? a terribly silly reason … take pride in your ethnicity and be confident about yourself and focus in your studies.. you are in China to study and not to get indulged in relationship that’s it..
No , probably not . If you haven't found one by now you probably have no chance. A lot of Chinese men do not find Caucasian women attractive, and those who do would be terrified approaching you. So I'm afraid that even though the numbers are heavily skewed in your favour, you won't get approached . I suspect you'll have to be patient and wait out the six years.
YeshiLodro Karma, Master's Art History & Aesthetics, Nanjing Normal University
I think what you need is not only a boyfriend . What you deserve is happiness. A boyfriend doesn't definitely bring you happiness. Just to be yourself and love yourself and one day your one true love will come to find you.